I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
