She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
