I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
