Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
