you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
how does that bad decision feel?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
