Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
