i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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