Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
