I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We have started to decorate penises.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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