We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
