party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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