i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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