i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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