can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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