how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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