I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Randomize
