our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
