I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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