Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
