just come out here and I will go home with you...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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