the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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