P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
