Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
