Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
