My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
