White coat. Heels.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just invented taco cereal.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
