piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
