you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
