11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
