if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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