I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
