problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
