I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
