grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
