Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
