Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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