So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
