Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
