Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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