You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
babies were throwing up all over the place
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
