All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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