i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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