Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
