I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Boobs speak an international language.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How naked do you want me to be?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
