I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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