He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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