Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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