He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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