I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
