I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
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