That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
