At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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