So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
my poor anus
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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