OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
