somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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