So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
