dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
