when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
