Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My ass is underappreciated
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
